Mary Kathryn (Kay) Winner (nee Mullins), age 83, died peacefully in her sleep, on August 23, 2016.  Born March 7, 1933, in Wilmington, Delaware, Kay was a loving mother, a friend to many and a dedicated wife.  She was a 1951 graduate of Ursuline Academy and a 1955 graduate of The Catholic University of America, where she returned to work on several occasions as an administrative assistant until retirement.

Kay was married for over fifty years to Edward G. Winner, a fellow CUA graduate.  When her husband accepted a post with the Peace Corps, she bravely took on the challenge of raising her young children in a foreign country for several years in West Africa, enjoying the mixture of cultures and hosting  the many volunteers who came to their house for a little bit of "home." A drama major in college, she kept that passion for the arts throughout her life. She was also an avid seamstress and passed her love for quilting and needlepoint onto her children and grandchildren.  She shared her love of games and sports with her children, continuing to learn new ones whenever she had the chance. She looked forward to coming to stay with each of her children when a grandchild was born, even when this meant travelling across the "pond" to France.

Survivors include her six children:  Paul Winner of Columbia MD, Kristin Cassan of Toulouse, France, Susan Bartley of New London, PA, Barbara Defix of Siaugues-Saint-Romain, France, James Winner of Rockville, MD, and Diane Winner of Raleigh, NC; a son, David Winner, died as an infant in 1964; 10 grandchildren; siblings, Joan Przywara and Mike Mullins of Wilmington, DE and a large extended family.

A memorial service will be at 1:00 PM on Saturday, October 1, 2016 at the Interfaith Chapel at Maris Grove, 100 Maris Grove Way, Glen Mills, Pennsylvania 19342

In lieu of flowers the family asks that donations be made to New Skete Monasteries www.newskete.org

Family Reflection ~

Tuesday afternoon our mother passed away. She was 83 years old. It's amazing how something so expected can be so unexpected. How a goodbye can be so long and yet so short. How you can miss someone so fiercely while sitting right next to them.

There's no good time to die. No good way to die. But mom chose as best as she could. She had big visits with her two daughters who live in France. She had all her family gathered around her to celebrate her the week before. She gave us time to sit with her, pray with her, talk to her... And then she decided to go home with my sister by her side. A perfect curtain to her play.

Today, in my grief and tears, I gathered my thoughts about her life and how it has forever shaped ours. About the lessons she taught us by just being herself, every day. And about how much we will miss her. 

Mom taught me that crafting is cheaper than therapy. It's totally not, who are we kidding? But quilting, needlework, knitting, crocheting, creating with my hands... Has been a gift and a comfort all my life, and always will be. I have always taken joy in the learning, even if the finished project isn't so awesome. She also taught me that the learning and planning and doing are better than the finished product. (People finish projects?) 

She taught all of her kids that playing is more important than winning. I have never met anyone more competitive who was a better loser. She wouldn't wear her glasses playing cards so we couldn't see her cards, but was the first to say, "Great game!" She would learn any game anywhere anytime.... (Oh, the hilarity of playing Cards Against Humanity with an 81 year old!) She never let us win. She would get computer games and play them for months to get her name on the board before letting me play, and then smile when I beat her top score in the first day of playing. 

She taught us to be fair. I still remember her going back to the store when she realized the cashier had made an error in her favor. It wasn't fair, and she didn't want the cashier to get in trouble. I was 8... and I've never forgotten that lesson. 

She was an absolute role model for how to care about and for others. A devout Catholic and a staunch Democrat, she took us to vote from an early age, talked to us about the civil rights riots that she lived through,  and had gay friends, interracial marriage friends, poor and rich friends. She never had a bad word to say about anybody, and embodied "Love thy neighbor." She hated traveling, but never questioned leaving her home and friends for months to be with her children when they needed her. 

She taught us to be strong and resilient. When her husband was airlifted to Germany with a collapsed lung, leaving her alone with five young children in Africa for several months, she kept doing what she did best - being a mom....

She taught me how to be a mom. She reassured me that childbirth is wonderful and easy. She would know... She did it seven times! She told me that I would "figure it out" with a newborn. Her calm confidence helped all of her daughters have amazing birth experiences. She couldn't be there with me in person, but I felt her calm as I brought my daughter into the world. I'm so grateful for that. 

I'm so grateful that she chose our Dad as her life partner and father of her children. It was the best decision she ever made. He was an amazing man, and I am jealous that she gets to see him again, while the rest of us have to wait. Tell him I said hi, Mom. Give him a lick for me. 

Together, they raised six amazing children. I know her biggest fear was that we wouldn't get along. She hated it when we fought. Mom, know that we love each other very much. I have never been more grateful for my siblings than during these times. We come together, and we have one focus... What would you want? And that brings me comfort.

She fully appreciated the importance of friends as family. She asked about them all the time. She never hung up the phone without giving her love to my husband, even when she couldn't remember his name.  Her friends have been calling and reaching out to us this week. They love us too. Thank you for befriending people that understand this too - friends are family. 

We weren't ready to say goodbye, Mom. Thank you for giving us time to lie with you, talk to you, pray with you, be with you. Thank you for being our mother. For being you. We love you.

Your daughter, Diane Winner

LONGWOOD FUNERAL HOME
of MATTHEW GENEREUX, INC.
913 East Baltimore Pike
Kennett Square, Pennsylvania  19348
 

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